Post by david on May 26, 2009 21:54:24 GMT -8
Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportion’d thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar;
The friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch’d, unfledg’d comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel, but, being in,
Bear ’t that th’ opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express’d in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are most select and generous, chief in that.
Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Nor any unproportion’d thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar;
The friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch’d, unfledg’d comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel, but, being in,
Bear ’t that th’ opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express’d in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are most select and generous, chief in that.
Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Something was rotten in the state of Denmark. Meanwhile, Polonius' son Laertes was about to board ship.
Whenever a father and son part, there's a chance they'll never see each other again, a possibility that the words spoken during their farewell will be the last each will hear from the other.
It's not surprising, therefore, that Polonius took advantage of this opportunity to impart the best advice he could muster to his son before the ship sailed for France.
My father rarely bestowed advice on me, but I have given my own son plenty; and he's shown the maturity and good judgement to ignore most of it.
I'm sure I've offered significantly more unsolicited advice to more people than most have. But when asked to go on the record, to produce somewhat official, written guidelines for happiness and success I'm suddenly reluctant, uncertain, a bit fearful.
I do not have, and may never have, grandchildren, so giving grandfatherly advice is a bit theoretical in my case.
Do I want to take responsibility for guiding anyone as they deal with the assorted trials and tribulations that face every human to some extent or another regardless of the circumstances of their birth?
There is no shortage of advice out there. It would be easy to simply append that already lengthy passage from the Bard, adding quotes from Aristotle, Jesus, Thoreau, Martin Luther King and others – including a few dozen profound songwriters – and to present a collection of good and unarguable suggestions.
But I've been asked to give my advice, ostensibly, because I've been around for a while and have hopefully gained perspectives based on personal experience and observation.
Well, I have encountered at least my share of pitfalls in life. Perhaps I have learned from my mistakes and misfortune and can offer some advice that could help others to avoid or adapt to similar situations in their own lives.
The most recent lesson learned took a very long time considering its simplicity. I can't yet prove that I can apply the learning for the long term, but my own success or failure shouldn't diminish the fundamental and quite obvious veracity of the thesis:
So, my advice to anyone who is concerned about their body weight is that they eat exactly enough food to maintain the weight they prefer. I've learned that body mass is affected by only two factors: first, the quantity of food consumed – which is easily measured in calories; and second, by the level at which energy is metabolized by the body – which can also be measured in calories.
If there is a difference between the two numbers, a person will either gain or lose weight. If the numbers match, they will maintain the same weight.
So, by eating and exercising just enough to maintain whatever you consider to be your ideal weight, you are certain to either gain or lose – over time – and then to remain at that desired level indefinitely.
My second bit of advice relates to romance:
I believe a person's odds of living a joyful life are dramatically improved when he or she has a life partner.
We love our children, our parents, our siblings and our friends. But, in my opinion, there is no substitute for the glorious feeling that goes with knowing you are the most important person in another person's life.
Finally, I will endorse Polonius' closing statement to his son on the dock in Denmark: “To thine own self be true,” he admonished.
Maybe I'm reluctant to give advice because life is really all about making one's own decisions – good and bad. And each person, if they are going to their way in this wide world, must choose for themselves. That way they'll be living their own lives, not those of their parents, grandparents or anyone else.
So I urge anyone who may give a hoot what I think to be true to yourself. Use your own judgment.
As my childhood adviser, Davy Crockett, put it: “Be sure you are right and then go ahead.”